"The only disability in life is a bad attitude." 
- Matthew Jeffers

19 days ago one of my good friends from Baltimore was in a terrible car accident. She was ejected from the vehicle, suffered a broken pelvis, fractured skull and ankle, and a crushed clavicle. Upon arriving to the hospital she was put in a medically induced coma. After a successful surgery to repair her pelvis her brain pressure rose to an unsafe level and doctors had to rush her into yet another surgery to remove part of her skull to allow her brain to swell without damaging her brain stem. The fact that she survived is a miracle.

I have never been good at dealing with traumatic news about anyone; I have come to believe I was born with a couple too many empathy cells in my body. When I heard the news about the fatal shootings at Virginia Tech and in Connecticut, I immediately felt pain and discomfort for people I have never met. Fortunately, until 19 days ago, I had never gone through anything traumatic happening to anyone close to me. I always wondered, if I felt this much pain for someone I had never met, how in the world would I feel if I got a call about someone close to me?

Inevitably the call came. Initially I didn't know how to feel. I was shocked, and it just didn't seem real. This would never happen to me, it couldn't. I began the processing and I broke down. Why her? Why? Why?

I came to terms and stayed up to date on the situation by reading many mass texts between my group of friends. Every surgery, every success, and every setback we all got updated at once. Then the time came, the time for reality to set in. I made my way to Nashville, Tennessee to the 10th floor of the East Tower, the trauma floor at Vanderbilt. I tried to prepare myself for what I might see, but I am convinced that no one can ever prepare themselves for something like this.

I got to the parking garage and I started to sweat. I was getting easily irritated because I couldn't find a spot on a Saturday afternoon, along with every other patient's friends and family members. I kept the self talk positive and strong. I have to be strong for my friends that flew down from Baltimore and I have to be strong for her Mom. Finally finding a parking spot, I made my way to the elevator. I was in the wrong tower. I started to panic so asked a stranger with a gold V on his jacket (Vanderbilt logo) how to get to the 10th floor of the East tower. Immediately registering in his mind that it was the trauma floor, he noticed I was panicked, put his hand on my back and led me there. I got in the elevator and this is where those empathy cells started to work overtime.

Upon first sight of her Mom I lost it. Completely. She quickly told me that everything would be ok and handed me a photo album my friends had made to remember happy times. Surrounded by love from my hometown I pulled myself together.

Only two people were allowed back at a time to see in the trauma unit. I passed many other patients on the floor as one of my other close friends led me to her bedside. Her body was bruised from the accident, she was hooked up to more machines than I could count and she laid motionless in the bed. I thought I would feel scared and uncomfortable, but it was the complete opposite. I felt relaxed. I moved the sheets that covered her, took her swollen hand into mine and talked to her.

She had lived in Knoxville for the past six years completing her undergrad and masters at the University of Tennessee in Deaf and Hard of Hearing Studies. When I was offered my current position in Johnson City, Tennessee my initial reaction was whoa, that is too far from home. But, when I took more time to think about it and remembered she was a short hour and a half away, I took the position. I knew that if I ever felt homesick I could jump in my car, ride over there and feel at home.

I was happy that I got to see her and talk to he about Peyton Manning and the Ravens and how she needs to get better for her wedding. She is engaged to a wonderful guy she met at UT.

Sometimes I have trouble understanding God's plan in my life. One moment I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I was meant to be doing. Other moments I question, what am I doing with my life?

The past few weeks it has been clear to me. I have been able to visit and wait with her family and friends at the hospital. The first weekend I was able to go to Nashville and meet everyone there; the second weekend I was already scheduled to be in Nashville for a conference for work. Coincidence? Maybe, but I would like to think not.

The next part of this long blog (thanks for sticking with me) is one of the most important parts.

Upon hearing about the accident hundreds of people from my hometown came together making cards and getting together gifts and treats to send down to my friend and her family. Voicemails, emails, phone calls, Facebook posts, you name it, people reached out. Three of our friends flew down to Nashville from Baltimore, and one of our guy friends from high school who is in spring training in Arizona and usually flies into Oklahoma, rerouted his flight to stop by the hospital in Nashville to show support. Love was pouring in from everywhere, it was (and still is) amazing.

One of the biggest testaments of love and strength came from her Mom. She taught me one of the most important lessons of my life. The one person who has the right to be angry and mad and upset with the situation chose a different route. Instead of wasting her energy on being upset, she focused her energy on getting her daughter better. She chose to deal with the current situation, have faith and hope in God that she will heal and focused and rejoiced in every baby step her daughter has made. Her strength is incredible and has been beyond inspiring.

Her positive energy, attitude and refusal to let her mind to go a dark place has not only inspired me, but it inspired everyone on the trauma floor at Vanderbilt. Each day when I would make my way to the 10th floor I would see other families whose lives had also been turned upside down. My friend's Mom knew each of their loved ones' names, their situation, and made sure to check up on them. Each of the security guards, nurses and doctors knew her name and would laugh and joke with her. I will never forget the day that I was in the waiting room when she was back with her daughter and one of the other families told me about how inspiring she was and how much easier she had made their experience.

I want to be just like her. When given two paths, I want to chose the optimistic, faithful, hopeful path and have a positive attitude. And, I want to apply this to all areas of my life, not only in traumatic situations. Everyday, everything that happens to us, we have a choice. We can chose to make ourselves a victim of our circumstances, or we can be positive and optimistic and rise above.

My friend was transported back to Baltimore today and will continue to recover there. The support system she has up north is absolutely incredible, I have no worries about her future.

19 days ago my life was changed. I will be strong and fight every day to be positive and optimistic. I will do this not only because I have been inspired, but also because you never know what tomorrow could bring.

Here is an amazing YouTube video. It is extremely inspiring, give it a view! I promise you will not be disappointed. Also, forewarning, it involves the Ravens ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wd89IydtXyk

That's enough for now.

MISS ya LOVE ya,

MEG